aashaayen khile dil ki...
ummeedein hase dil ki..
ab mushkil nahi kutch bhi ...nahi kutch bhi
kutch paane ki ho aas aas
kutch armaan ho jo khaas khaas
har koshish mein ho waar waar
kare dariyao ko aar paar
toofano ko chir ke manzilo ko chin le
aashayeen khile dil ki.....
ok. i dont live in some God Forbidden land with only Doooordrashan. but yesterday was the first time i heard this song. and saw the movie. actually the song has to be good. becuase KK sang it. after a looooooooooooooonnnnnggggggggg time i saw one good movie yesterday. such a nice movie.
and i have observed that every blog contains two posts... for sure... one on cricket and one on marriage.
today is my cricket post day.
after seeing the movie, i felt that almost all our cricket team is full of Iqbal's. Zaheer Khan, Dhoni, Md Kaif, etc, etc are a few examples. but then all our selectors and the so called current "coach" are exactly the same as the character of Girsh Karnad in the movie.
The India VS West Indies fourth one day was a beautiful proof for that. the team work was nil. zero.3 minus 5. all of them played because they had to play. thats it. no team work. some how i feel the "coach" is to blamed for all that. i feel that the players are losing the teamspirit. ok. agreed that cricket is no as much as a team game as football.
i am no Ganguly fan. but he does deserve some credit. he was not a bad captain either. Sachin was much worse as a captain (Sachin is my favourite cricket player).
but the very fact that the "coach" behaved so unprofessionally on the issue related to Ganguly, shows that he doesnt have what it takes to train, motivate and encourage a team. no matter how bad the captain is, his removal from the team would lead to an all round loss of confidence and morale. same case any where. the fall of a leader (no matter how good or bad he is) always is a huge demotivating factor. it should have been handled with a looooootttt of delicacy. every one has their ups and downs in life. that doesnt mean that the "coach" should broadcast about the team member's personal problems.
i hate the Indian cricket "coach". he is bad as a motivator, he is bad as a trainer. the only thing he is good in is to get involved in unnecessary controversies. and get the whole team invovled.
and our team has not performed any better after his taking over as the "coach".
unless the environment in the team is good, there would be absolutely no progress. may be its time for the "coach" to just quit.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
discountssssssssssssss
now a days we are on a total shopping spree. its like come saturday and sunday and all of us (my friends and me) are either at Lifestyle or shoppers stop or Hyderabad Central or some other shopping plaza. last saturday we were at one of these so called shopping plazas / malls / whatever-they-are-called. the main purpose was to buy a pair of goggles.
now first of all in case goggles are the main product the first and foremost thing required is a mirror. no make it atleast five mirrors. big size. equal to the size of our ego. but the strangest thing was in the entire goggle section there was only one mirror. now picture this.. its summer.. people want to buy goggles. its saturday. people want to spend money. its hot. poeple are generally irritated. so with one mirror 1000 varieties of goggles, there was a literal stampede.. that is stamping legs. big way. i stamped a guy's leg and poor guy shouted and just ran out of the section. sorry.
finally after trying all the goggles available (after which the sales guy was literally in tears..), we managed to literally grab one beautiful piece. GRAB is the operational word because of teh queue (remember the sequence summer-saturday-money-blah-blah). its a very competitive world. survival of the fittest.
so finally while purchasing my friend remembers that he is a member of some club / group/ watever of that shop. so you get some points every time you make a purchase. we bought stuff worth 4500 and he gets some 35 points. (and there was some free gift voucher worth 500 on purchase of Rs2000. so we got TWO vouchers.). but that was not the STUPIDITY. the thing was there was a BUMPER LUCKY DRAW. for people who has more than 1000 points THEY GET 100 RUPESS DISCOUNT on any purchase. WHAT A JOKE...
after shopping for some RS 10,000 all you get is a discount of Rs 100.
thats the story. and all this is supposed to be customer focus BULLS_ _ _.
and till recently one of the malls used to charge Rs10 for parking in case you DONT make any purchase. BULLS_ _ _ again.
and one of the best part of Hyderabad is our very own Hussain Sagar. Lovely.
and we have a beautiful place to hang out. its called eat street. and poeple go there mostly to enjoy the beautiful weather. FULL STOP. bcoz imagine all the mosquitoes
which fall in food. but what they have done is, bcoz the revenues are like 3 minus 5, they have decided to put up a restaurant on the first floor. PATHETICEST idea. no lights. poeple really dont knw wat they are eating. and people are not allowed to go up unless you want to eat there. atleast even if they put an entrance ticket of Rs 5, poeple are ready to buy. but food is a bad idea.inspite of all these stupid ideas, all tehse malls / hangout areas are still reeling under losses. didnt still get over their break even point. (do i sound all-knowing-MBA professional??)
i think i cribbed enough. thats enough of cribbing.
In other news Himesh WHOEVER was here in Hdyerabad for a concert. God knows whoooooooo ooooooo oooooooooo went.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
thanda matlab....
koka kola, right? may be.. for the company, for Aamir Khan and for Prasoon Joshi.. and may be for the kids...
but if you really ask people in the age group of 30(ok i am being optimistic) to some 60 years, they are most likely to say "toilet cleaner" (in India that is.). this punch line was coined by none other than "Ramdev Maharaj".
i dont know how many have heard of him. but he is a big hit. he teaches YOGA. very simple man. and he goes to all the cities from the so called tier I cities to the rest of India and conducts classes at each of these cities for one week. and there is a special kids day too. this program is telecasted live on Aastha channel daily twice -- morning 5:30 to 6:30 and a repeat telecast in the evening from 8:30 to 9:30. these excersises are simple, dont require a lot of time ( half an hour is all that is required, he says) and really help.
and no he is not like the umpteen number of poeple who preach about spirituality, about giving up everything for which we have worked hard like hell, about inner peace,blah, blah. and like Brayam Adams concerts, his tickets are sold out may be one month before the program commences. he is witty and keeps his audience active and alert. "burger pijja khaoge tho burger ki tarah ho jaoge.." or something to that extent.
he has two main targets.. one to comment on the paepsi (he pronounces it like that) and cocacola and the other to comment on how the MNC's are spoiling the quality of life we live.
this i feel is the ultimate example of marketing a brand. the brand being Yoga and he being the brand ambassador. the word of mouth is excellent in this case. these courses are conducted in huge grounds, where atleast 50,000 people can be accomodated. and he makes everyone try out the brand. and give their opinion about it. that is one thing which may be no other brand can afford. and the reach of the particular brand is huge. every week he is touring.. making people from different parts of the country try out the brand.. right from Hamirpur (in Himachal Pradesh with a very meagre population .. most of them would be the REC gang) to Hyderabad, to Delhi, he has travelled every where. and for those people who would not be able to make it to these programs, the live TV program is always there. and one of the best things i have observed is that he tries to learn some few important words of the local language and use them in his programs.. talk about customization..
and people are always speaking out in this course as to how they reduced 8 kgs in two weeks.. or gained 5 kgs in one month or getting rid of some disease or the other. positive testimonials... brand satisfaction.. which lead to more and more people trying out the brand... and yes there is brand extension also.. he has built some hospital in Haridwar with all the latest facilities ,,blah lah.. it would be difficult to find any other brand ambassador as passionate as "Ramdev ji Maharaj", while talking about the brand. and the punch line is way too good... "thanda matlab toilet cleaner" funny and very easy to remember..
last month there was a health check up conducted for our entire organization.. can you guess the number of people having High Blood Pressure? and you dont even want to know the cholestrol levels of most of them. and the average age of our organization is somewhere around 28.
what is the use of earning in all the various possible currencies in the world when all of that would most probably go to our medical bill???
its not like i suddenly became some elderly person preaching about health and all that. and its not that i have been promised huge undisclosed amount to write about Yoga and exercise in general... but as i sit in the same seat for somewhere around 40 hours a week with absolutely no exercise and atleast twice a week having pijja burger/ butter naan / paneer butter masala .. i really wonder if i would have what it takes to lead a healthy life.. atleast not becoming a burden on somebody else when i come to the age of writing my final will.
but if you really ask people in the age group of 30(ok i am being optimistic) to some 60 years, they are most likely to say "toilet cleaner" (in India that is.). this punch line was coined by none other than "Ramdev Maharaj".
i dont know how many have heard of him. but he is a big hit. he teaches YOGA. very simple man. and he goes to all the cities from the so called tier I cities to the rest of India and conducts classes at each of these cities for one week. and there is a special kids day too. this program is telecasted live on Aastha channel daily twice -- morning 5:30 to 6:30 and a repeat telecast in the evening from 8:30 to 9:30. these excersises are simple, dont require a lot of time ( half an hour is all that is required, he says) and really help.
and no he is not like the umpteen number of poeple who preach about spirituality, about giving up everything for which we have worked hard like hell, about inner peace,blah, blah. and like Brayam Adams concerts, his tickets are sold out may be one month before the program commences. he is witty and keeps his audience active and alert. "burger pijja khaoge tho burger ki tarah ho jaoge.." or something to that extent.
he has two main targets.. one to comment on the paepsi (he pronounces it like that) and cocacola and the other to comment on how the MNC's are spoiling the quality of life we live.
this i feel is the ultimate example of marketing a brand. the brand being Yoga and he being the brand ambassador. the word of mouth is excellent in this case. these courses are conducted in huge grounds, where atleast 50,000 people can be accomodated. and he makes everyone try out the brand. and give their opinion about it. that is one thing which may be no other brand can afford. and the reach of the particular brand is huge. every week he is touring.. making people from different parts of the country try out the brand.. right from Hamirpur (in Himachal Pradesh with a very meagre population .. most of them would be the REC gang) to Hyderabad, to Delhi, he has travelled every where. and for those people who would not be able to make it to these programs, the live TV program is always there. and one of the best things i have observed is that he tries to learn some few important words of the local language and use them in his programs.. talk about customization..
and people are always speaking out in this course as to how they reduced 8 kgs in two weeks.. or gained 5 kgs in one month or getting rid of some disease or the other. positive testimonials... brand satisfaction.. which lead to more and more people trying out the brand... and yes there is brand extension also.. he has built some hospital in Haridwar with all the latest facilities ,,blah lah.. it would be difficult to find any other brand ambassador as passionate as "Ramdev ji Maharaj", while talking about the brand. and the punch line is way too good... "thanda matlab toilet cleaner" funny and very easy to remember..
last month there was a health check up conducted for our entire organization.. can you guess the number of people having High Blood Pressure? and you dont even want to know the cholestrol levels of most of them. and the average age of our organization is somewhere around 28.
what is the use of earning in all the various possible currencies in the world when all of that would most probably go to our medical bill???
its not like i suddenly became some elderly person preaching about health and all that. and its not that i have been promised huge undisclosed amount to write about Yoga and exercise in general... but as i sit in the same seat for somewhere around 40 hours a week with absolutely no exercise and atleast twice a week having pijja burger/ butter naan / paneer butter masala .. i really wonder if i would have what it takes to lead a healthy life.. atleast not becoming a burden on somebody else when i come to the age of writing my final will.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
yahoooo.... i am gonna be rich
i really dont mean to offend anyone by this post. i am really sorry if any one gets offended.
SCENARIO 1 :
...and the winner is Miss Timbactoo... (thunderous applause in the auditorium and all around the world..)
Miss Timbactoo's speech: i thank my parents, my friends, my dogs, my cats, neighbors, teachers, my co-contestants, their cats and dogs, all my supporters, the host, the hostess, blah, blah, blah. i would also like to add a special thanks to "no grey cells required (NGCR) series", without whom it would have been impossible for me to win this beauty contest. i would especially like to thank Soumya for getting this brilliant idea of introducing a question bank book for the beauty contests. She has done the world a lot of good. (CLAP CLAP in the auditorium and around the universe.the C channel of our colony has reached Mars also... )
SCENARIO 2:
overheard in the neighbors house..what?? the dhobi hasnt come?? again??.. oh noooooo i am ruined... what am i supposed to do???(getting tensed..) ok let me call "we-give-life saving-suggestions" channel and find out the solution...
tring tring...
Miss / Mr I-get-paid-for-giving-useless-suggestions : hello Good Morning welcome to the "we-give-life saving-suggestions" channel
what would be the life threatening challenge you are faced with today???"
Neighbor: my dhobi hasn't come... what should i do?? i have tried reaching him on the cell.. but he has activated his Call Divert option... what do i do now???
Miss / Mr I-get-paid-for-giving-useless-suggestions :tada tada.. dont worry... please call "crisp consultants at 53456767 " they are the best in the world.. they are the leading Dhobi's in the world with almost 54.6% market share. Also the entire world salutes Soumya for coming up with such a brilliant idea which has reduced the anxiety levels in the people by almost 75.99%.
these are my alternate career options. i knw i am going to be stinking rich if i put up either one of them.
methinks the first one is a very novel idea and it would not take a lot of time to set up. bcoz the time required for me to do all the research would be very less. the questions have to be easiest and the answers have to be the most irrelevant. i mean, cmon, if a question like "who is your role model, who is still alive" and if the winning answer is "Mother Teresa", when she was already seeing the show live from heaven (yes, thats the reach of our cable channels") doesnt require a lot of research and soul-searching, right??
so thats wat i decided. i am gonna publish my own NGCR series.. and i am gonna be rich. i mean imagine the sales i am gonna generate. (count your eggs (or is it chicken) before they hatch..hahahah)
right from my seventh class,till my 10th, i have been ironing my school uniform daily. also my dad's shirts and trousers. (the dhobi problem is wide spread in all the parts of the world). so the second option of setting up a laundry service. and methinks i have becom an expert in it. i dont have a good experience in ironing sarees, though. so i will OUTSOURCE it...
and it really relieves stress levels.. i mean imagine you getting up late in the morning and then realizing that you dont have a crisp shirt / trouser / dress to wear. just pick up the phone and dial "Crisp Consultants" (now a days if the word CONSULTANT is absent, poeple may not take your profession seriously.. there is a health CONSULTANT, there is an auto repair CONSULTANT, there is a Chef CONSULTANT, and of course my favourite, the saaaaftware CONSULTANT")
lo and behold all your tensions would vanish into thin air... in a jiffy....
these are my sure shot ways of getting rich... i am sure of it...bcoz the target customer base is HUGE and i have very less competition, because i have the first mover advantage. (woooow i still remember the MBA talk)
right now these are two of my ideas. i have a lot more... but my mom is giving those "are you already in front of the computer at 7 in the morning" looks. so i will continue this post some othertime.
i am still searching for more entrepreneurial ideas (yeah, i am not sure about the spelling). Contributions are welcome. but they have to be very novel and which would rationalize the way the world thinks... (what is the use of me having an MBA degree and not using all the MBA jargon???)
SCENARIO 1 :
...and the winner is Miss Timbactoo... (thunderous applause in the auditorium and all around the world..)
Miss Timbactoo's speech: i thank my parents, my friends, my dogs, my cats, neighbors, teachers, my co-contestants, their cats and dogs, all my supporters, the host, the hostess, blah, blah, blah. i would also like to add a special thanks to "no grey cells required (NGCR) series", without whom it would have been impossible for me to win this beauty contest. i would especially like to thank Soumya for getting this brilliant idea of introducing a question bank book for the beauty contests. She has done the world a lot of good. (CLAP CLAP in the auditorium and around the universe.the C channel of our colony has reached Mars also... )
SCENARIO 2:
overheard in the neighbors house..what?? the dhobi hasnt come?? again??.. oh noooooo i am ruined... what am i supposed to do???(getting tensed..) ok let me call "we-give-life saving-suggestions" channel and find out the solution...
tring tring...
Miss / Mr I-get-paid-for-giving-useless-suggestions : hello Good Morning welcome to the "we-give-life saving-suggestions" channel
what would be the life threatening challenge you are faced with today???"
Neighbor: my dhobi hasn't come... what should i do?? i have tried reaching him on the cell.. but he has activated his Call Divert option... what do i do now???
Miss / Mr I-get-paid-for-giving-useless-suggestions :tada tada.. dont worry... please call "crisp consultants at 53456767 " they are the best in the world.. they are the leading Dhobi's in the world with almost 54.6% market share. Also the entire world salutes Soumya for coming up with such a brilliant idea which has reduced the anxiety levels in the people by almost 75.99%.
these are my alternate career options. i knw i am going to be stinking rich if i put up either one of them.
methinks the first one is a very novel idea and it would not take a lot of time to set up. bcoz the time required for me to do all the research would be very less. the questions have to be easiest and the answers have to be the most irrelevant. i mean, cmon, if a question like "who is your role model, who is still alive" and if the winning answer is "Mother Teresa", when she was already seeing the show live from heaven (yes, thats the reach of our cable channels") doesnt require a lot of research and soul-searching, right??
so thats wat i decided. i am gonna publish my own NGCR series.. and i am gonna be rich. i mean imagine the sales i am gonna generate. (count your eggs (or is it chicken) before they hatch..hahahah)
right from my seventh class,till my 10th, i have been ironing my school uniform daily. also my dad's shirts and trousers. (the dhobi problem is wide spread in all the parts of the world). so the second option of setting up a laundry service. and methinks i have becom an expert in it. i dont have a good experience in ironing sarees, though. so i will OUTSOURCE it...
and it really relieves stress levels.. i mean imagine you getting up late in the morning and then realizing that you dont have a crisp shirt / trouser / dress to wear. just pick up the phone and dial "Crisp Consultants" (now a days if the word CONSULTANT is absent, poeple may not take your profession seriously.. there is a health CONSULTANT, there is an auto repair CONSULTANT, there is a Chef CONSULTANT, and of course my favourite, the saaaaftware CONSULTANT")
lo and behold all your tensions would vanish into thin air... in a jiffy....
these are my sure shot ways of getting rich... i am sure of it...bcoz the target customer base is HUGE and i have very less competition, because i have the first mover advantage. (woooow i still remember the MBA talk)
right now these are two of my ideas. i have a lot more... but my mom is giving those "are you already in front of the computer at 7 in the morning" looks. so i will continue this post some othertime.
i am still searching for more entrepreneurial ideas (yeah, i am not sure about the spelling). Contributions are welcome. but they have to be very novel and which would rationalize the way the world thinks... (what is the use of me having an MBA degree and not using all the MBA jargon???)
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